_{Laughter is good for your health.  Laughter is a form of fun.  Pickleball is fun.  Therefore, Pickleball is good for your health.}

_{And since the holiday season is a time for happiness, health and fun, let’s consider the following with the hope that it provokes even a small giggle:}

_***

_{Last week after losing four games of Pickleball Joe went to the president of the Pickleball club.  He told him he kept thinking about suicide after games like that.  The president told him that from now on he would have to pay his club fee in advance.} 

_***

_{A pickleballer goes to the doctor with a duck on his head.}

_{“What’s your problem?” asks the doctor?}

_{“How do I get this guy off my ass?” says the duck.}

_***

_{The doctor called Mrs. Swartz after her pickleball game. “Mrs. Swartz, your check came back.” Mrs. Swartz answered, “So did my arthritis!”} 

_***

_{Patient: “I have a ringing in my ears when I play Pickleball, what should I do?” Doctor: “Don’t answer it!”} 

_***

_{An old Pickleball player goes into the doctor’s office. The doctor says, “I have bad news.”} 

_{“What’s the bad news,” says the man?
“The bad news is that you have AIDS,” says the doctor.
“Oh my God,” says the man.}  

_{“I have some more bad news,” says the doctor.} 

_{“What’s that?” asks the old man.
“You also have Alzheimer’s.”
“Thank God I don’t have AIDS!” says the man.} 

_***

_{Nurse calls out to the famous Pickleball doctor: “Doctor, doctor, a patient just walked out of our office and dropped dead on our steps. What should I do?”} 

_{Doctor: “Turn him around and make it look like he’s coming in.”} 

_***

_{Little Johnny goes up to his mother. “Mommy,” he says, “Can you please tell me about the birds and the bees?”} 

_{“Why don’t you ask your father when he comes back from Pickleball?” says the mother.
“Because, Mommy, I just didn’t want to know that much about it.”} 

_***

_{An old Pickleball player goes into the doctor’s office.
“I have good news and bad news,” says the doctor.} 

_{“What’s the bad news,” says the old man.
“You have Alzheimer’s,” says the doctor.
“What’s the good news,” asks the old man.
“You will make a lot of new friends.”} 

_***

_{A man leaves his Pickleball game early to call his mother in Florida on her birthday. “Mom, how are you?”} 

_{The mother answered, “Not too good. I’m very weak.”} 

_{The son said, “Why are you so weak?”} 

_{She said, “Because I haven’t eaten in three weeks!”} 

_{The son said, “That’s terrible! Why haven’t you eaten in three weeks?” “Because I don’t want my mouth to be full of food in case you should call.”} 

_***

_{Two Pickleball players meet on Oakmont Drive. “Hey, Joe, where have you been?”
“I just came from Macys.”
“What were you doing there?”} 

_{“I bought a new hearing aid.”
“Really? How much did it cost?”
“It cost ten-thousand dollars.”
“Wow! Ten-thousand dollars for a hearing aid?”
“Yeah. It’s all platinum.”
“A platinum hearing aid!?”
“Yeah. And, it has thirty-five jewels.”
“Thirty-five jewels!?”
“Yeah. And, it plays in stereo.”
“A ten-thousand dollar, platinum hearing aid, with thirty-five jewels, that plays in stereo!?”
“Yep.”  
“What kind is it?”
“Ten-thirty.”} 

_***

_{An Oakmont grandmother was heard at the courts saying to her friend:
“My granddaughter is so talented she plays the piano by ear!”
“That’s nothing,” says the friend, “my son fiddles with his navel!”} 

_***

_{Happy Holidays to all current – and soon to be – picklers!!!}

_{New Player Orientation:  Arrangements can be made by contacting Nancy Lande at 978-2998 to schedule a session.  Demo-loaner paddles are available by contacting Doc Savarese at 349-90265.}